You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
