is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
