Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
