Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize