I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
