She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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