Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
