So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
