I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
