You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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