He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
that's an acceptable place to lick
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
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