Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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