I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
