zippers are such a cool invention
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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