is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I queefed so loud it echoed.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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