i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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