His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
