Redeem this text for a blowjob
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
