"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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