barbara walters just said penis...
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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