Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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