Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
