omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
