Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
