are you so shy because you have an std?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I will pee on everything he values.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
