I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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