they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My vagina is officially offended.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
