we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
