So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
