she kept yelling 'call me bella'
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
is wine microwaveable?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
