Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
