You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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