guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Randomize
