Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
