mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize