I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
