i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
