oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize