He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
