I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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