so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
this is an emotional support booty call
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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