As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
