you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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