is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
