just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
