what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
