I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
