So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
