my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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