She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
