I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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