Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
