Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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