Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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