I love black thongs
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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