PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize