And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
His hands were made for my vagina.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
