Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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