one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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